Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Personal Ad

My friend Betsy emailed me this post found on our local Craigslist. It was too funny, so I had to share! Happy Tuesday!

To the woman that crapped in my car…
Reply to: pers-1007823954@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-01-25, 8:53PM

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.
I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you.
At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don’t feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said “First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me” was meant to be funny, not offensive.
I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I probably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat...
What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.
I await your call,
Tad
P.S. - If you shat yourself on purpose to end the evening early…Touché…

Location: NE Portland
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL:http://portland.craigslist.org/mlt/m4w/1007823954.html

6 comments:

Jackie said...

Talk about starting a relationship based on honesty! WOW. Too funny! At least Tad has the balls to say what everyone else is thinking.

Sassy Cass said...

OMG, now that is funny. She must have been hot sh!t if he still wants to go out with her despite the accident. How embarassing would that be- Imagine Tad telling their grandkids about their first date! LMAO!

JenWebb702 said...

OMG. How funny. I can't help but think that he really does not want a second date with this girl because quite honestly, I wouldn't. Not that I would want to date a girl...I will stop digging this hole!!

Anniebanannie said...

Seriously? Holy azz...I wouldn't be able to face a person again if that had happened. WOW!

Jodee said...

That was too funny! I love his ending to it....I think that would be the last thing I would do to end a date! that was funny...I would die! But I have a friend who has this kind of problem...and her stories are hilarious...I have never laughed so hard in my life at the stories she tells!

Emily said...

Holy Crap!
That is too funny, what a great sense of humor.

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